Courage of a Mext applicant

I just wanted to make this post…to breath. Do you know what it feels like to wait for your dream to come true? This monbukagakusho is it for me. As I was going through the internet it dawned on me that MANY others were like me. This scholarship means so much to them.

This reminds me of that post on face book about how us mext scholarship applicants are really tough, or something like that. All this anxiousness for how many months?

 

It’s funny, but we’re having mini heart attacks just waiting. (Just a side note, I tend to try and laugh about my problems and saying how they’re funny. It’s my way of coping.) I like these people, they’re of my kind.

Not to make it worse, or better depending on how you see it,  one really enthusiastic scholarship recipient was really encouraging us to come and I think everyone else got riled up. It was great! I just wish it came earlier  and not after I’d already done my exams and interview, now it doesn’t matter anymore because what’s done is done.

I REALLY wish I could have had the chance to really show my stuff and prove my worth. I REALLY wish that this wasn’t my first/ last chance to apply for the undergraduate scholarship which makes things a tinsy bit worse in my case. So many wishes but what can I do other than to wait some more?

 

I’m just loving this facebook group for the monbukagakusho applicants and scholars. It’s your go to place for info and support! I especially love how some people display their confidence in winning by writing, “See you next year.”

If you tell me that, I’ll honestly be lifted. I don’t really believe everyone I know in my life who says they believe I can make it, but, I’m relieved they say it anyways. It makes things more positive and loosens the tension. I especially love how my family acts like I’ve already won.

I’m bursting with mixed emotions. This is exciting, fun, scary, worrisome,amazing, a gem, a dream, a possible reality, a possible reality that could just slip out of your hands…

 

I guess my peeps get that feeling. If not then I’m just a weird case. I doubt it, I’m sure the others feel this way.

 

 

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